From EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL by Robert Anton Wilson with Miriam Joan Hill. Copyright (c) 1998 by Robert Anton Wilson.

EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL is available from the Robert Anton Wilson Bookstore

The Holy Order of the Lemon

The Holy Order of the Lemon, another offshoot of Freemasonry, was either founded by Lord Glendale in 1798 or by a group of pranksters in 1996, who performed the first public Lemon Order event by dumping lemons--lots and lots of lemons--into the River Liffey in Dublin, Ireland. This mystic brotherhood declares itself frankly devoted to seeking large grants from corporations dealing in lemon products (such as Lemon Pledge) to sponsor rituals, primarily consisting of long, dour marches wearing drab suits and "lemon-colored derbies," through "places of no historical interest," holding aloft "rampant or couchant, fresh lemons in hands sinister." Patron saint of the order is 19th-century French socialist Charles Fourier, who believed in the overthrow of civilization and the founding of a "society of harmony" in which all passions and manias would be encouraged, after which the ocean would turn to lemonade.

According to another version, the actual founder of the Lemon Order was Elizabeth Adworth (1695-1775), the only woman ever initiated into Freemasonry (in Doneraile, County Cork) after being discovered asleep behind some curtains in the lodge. In her memory, the Lemon Order is bisexual, i.e., open to all genders.

The manifesto of the Holy Order of the Lemon begins, "Razorryn orderruin, XTCronny rocket, . . . John Lemon, lemon soda pop, Bellemon Laswellemon, Lemon flesh, Irish Spermanent lemonadelic, AC/DCitron, Vincent Van Gogh: Teller und citronen, The Lemonheadfucks, Babelllemon, Prince Lemon Crush, Better Lemonade. . . . Make Lemon not Orange, . . . " etc. (We don't have enough space to quote it all here.)

See also:
Golden Apple Corps, Grand Orange Lodge of Ireland, Noon Blue Apples


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